Toolkit for Navigating Stressful Seasons
Maybe it was Mercury in retrograde, maybe it was because I told my therapist how well life’s been going lately, but one thing’s for sure: the universe decided to test me in August.
Just one month before I was sitting down with my therapist talking about how good and balanced I’d been feeling, and couldn’t help but feel like that was sending a sign to the universe that I was ready for another test. And then, I got a jury summons in the mail.
The experience ended up being one I’ll never forget. It was transformative in a way I haven’t felt since I lost my grandmother. I’ll even say, it was traumatic. In conversations with close friends and loved ones since, I’ve realized what an important, and yet deeply flawed system it is. I’ve come to realize how little we are prepared for such an event, emotionally and mentally, and even with all of my tools, it was exceedingly hard to navigate.
And to be honest, I’ve felt particularly alone in my experience of jury duty, and sort of confused at why it affected me so deeply. In doing some research, I found that only 5-10% of people summoned are actually placed on a jury, and I don’t know anyone who has had an experience like mine (except for the other beautiful, wonderful humans I went through it with.) 80% of people have certainty as a primary need, and going into this experience I was anything but certain. First I had to acknowledge that it was okay that it was so challenging for me, even if it hasn’t been for others.
In addition to this, I’ve been navigating a lot of unexpected emotions, change and new challenges this month. I hesitated to even share this now, as I am still processing and going through it, but I want to share this in case it can help anyone else navigating a tough period. And, in a way, disprove a belief I’ve held that you have to be fully ready before sharing what’s on your mind. I’ve also come to learn that healing happens in community, when we can connect and share our experiences.
One of the most impactful things I’ve learned from my client, Britt Piper, SA survivor, somatic practitioner and trauma expert, is that the goal of nervous system regulation is not to stop feeling; it’s to expand our capacity to be with our emotions. The goal is to ride the waves of our feelings, find safety in the body, and create resilience in the process of accepting our emotions versus shutting them down.
In fact, I took so much of what I’ve learned from Britt about the language of the nervous system during this experience. I relied on the techniques I’ve learned from her in moments I felt myself slipping into panic and overwhelm, the definition of trauma playing in my head, “Trauma is any experience that is too overwhelming for your nervous system to handle.”
Most of us aren’t taught how to self-regulate our emotions and navigate stressful situations without dissociating or shutting down. So, it only felt right this month to share my toolkit for navigating stressful seasons.
Nervous System Regulation
Britt has helped me learn how to connect with and listen to what my body is telling me. Trauma lives in the body as a feeling, not a thought, and if we can get quiet enough to listen, our bodies have so much valuable information to share. For example, in deliberation during the trial, the butterflies in my stomach and my tingling hands told me I was venturing towards a panic attack, so I looked out the window. I observed the boats on the glistening water in the bay, took some deep breaths, and immediately felt more calm. This is called orienting, a type of resourcing Britt teaches in her somatic-based (“soma” meaning “body”) program. By engaging your senses in this way, you help your body recognize that you are safe in this moment, which can help to calm your nervous system and bring you back to a state of equilibrium.
I also have been spending a lot of time co-regulating with my husband and pets. Co-regulating is an amazing tool for nervous system regulation because it leverages the inherent human capacity for connection to create a sense of safety and calm. Co-regulation involves using another person's calm and regulated nervous system to help bring your own system into balance. This can happen through touch, eye contact, tone of voice, or simply being in the presence of someone who is calm and grounded.
If you’re interested in somatic work, I highly recommend following Britt on Instagram and even watching her free 2-day mini course, the Somatic Recovery Roadmap.
EFT Tapping
A few weeks before the trial took place I signed up for Mode the Method, a mindfulness and wellness app created by Stephanie Flockhart, designed to help users cultivate balance, awareness, and personal growth through a variety of guided practices. For the first time, I’ve been experimenting with Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), commonly known as "Tapping." It is a form of energy psychology that combines elements of cognitive therapy and exposure therapy with acupressure. It involves tapping on specific meridian points on the body—similar to those used in acupuncture—while focusing on a particular issue or emotion. EFT is used to help reduce stress, anxiety, and emotional distress, and can be applied to a wide range of physical and psychological issues. The app is really easy to use and this modality feels like a more active type of meditation that resonates with me. I used this before and after trial each day to disconnect and release energy.
Elevations/Meditations
I also have been loving Stephanie’s guided elevations in the app. She has elevations for abundance and manifestation, body and wellness, beauty and self-care, relationships and connections and more. I’ve been using the elevation for connecting to my elevated self, and during the trial, guided meditations to calm my nervous system between sessions. It encourages breathwork and deep breathing, which was another tool I leaned on consistently during the trial.
Embracing Rest
During really emotional times, I have less energy than usual, even when I’m getting plenty of rest. So, instead of pushing myself to wake up early to workout – leading to even more stress – I opted for taking things slower and just taking short walks outside when I could. I knew it would be a short timeframe in the long run, and that intuitively I needed to focus on just getting through each day as grounded and calm as I could be.
Mindful Movement
When I started to reemerge from the post-trial haze, I was ready to go back to the gym. However, a persistent injury made it uncomfortable for me to continue lifting weights or doing high intensity workouts. It was frustrating to say the least, because I knew the physical release was so needed after all the adrenaline that had built up in my system, but I was forced to surrender to what my body was telling me. I opted for long walks outside with the pups, and getting a massage to relieve tension and stress.
I knew that feeling guilty for not getting back in my routine would not serve me, so I told myself that it was okay to do what I needed to do in the short term to make sure I was healthy and strong in the long term. If 80% of the year I’m in a good routine with my workouts, during the 20% where I’m not physically or mentally well, I completely remove guilt and allow myself that freedom to change what taking care of my body looks like. This mindset shift has been huge for me the past few years in accepting and honoring my needs!
Eating Nutritious Foods
One way I can take care of my body when I’m unable to physically move as much is through eating nutritious foods. I have been loving smoothie bowls lately, since I find in high stress times that I lose my appetite. Smoothies are a great way to get in all essential nutrients and fuel the body properly, also contributing to a regulated nervous system. My favorite smoothie combo is frozen berries, frozen riced cauliflower, Ancient Nutrition bone broth protein, almond milk, almond butter and spinach. Sometimes I’ll add granola, fresh berries and cacao nibs. Spinach, cacao, and almonds are known for their ability to help regulate the nervous system by promoting relaxation, reducing stress, and supporting overall brain health.
bliss blow from parakeet cafe on the beach
During the week of the trial, I also added vanilla collagen to my coffee in the mornings and carried my favorite protein bars and snacks with me. I preferred to eat smaller meals, and since I wasn’t working out as much (+ the stress), I wasn’t as hungry. You can find my favorite protein-rich snacks in this blog post! When I got home at night I tried to eat protein dense meals with veggies or even overnight oats with protein. I craved satiating comfort food, and again did my best to listen to and honor what my body needed in this unique time.
Journaling & Expressing Emotions
Since the experience, I have been writing down my thoughts and emotions to get them out of my head, and expressing how I’m truly feeling to my loved ones. Even if they can’t relate or don’t know what to say, getting out my feelings instead of holding them in has been so important. I’ve also let myself cry when I need to cry, and tried, again, to eliminate any judgment around how sensitive I am (it only makes things worse to reject myself).
By sharing and processing my truth in real time, my hope is that I am able to get back to a place of regulation faster than I used to be able to when I would avoid my emotions and dissociate. And in full transparency, I have found myself more addicted to social media and mind numbing TV. As I shared earlier, I am still in process and working through it. I don’t want to put a timeline on when I’ll “be better” and am trying my best to honor where I’m at and be patient with myself. I’m always relearning that letting go of expectations and self judgment is a critical part of healing.
Giving Back
The trial process left me feeling helpless and powerless, and in thinking about some meaningful action I could take, I donated to CASA: court supported advocates for children in foster care or navigating the court system. If you feel called to contribute to help children in unimaginable situations, click here. If you know of any other organizations doing similar work, let me know and I can add it here!
Mindset Shifts
Another huge takeaway from the experience was that I already have all I need and more. It’s easy to be distracted by social media and comparing ourselves to others that we forget that if we’re lucky enough to have our basic needs taken care of, we are so fortunate. So many people in our country and around the world aren’t able to afford what I take for granted every day. It’s too easy to turn a blind eye and not face this harsh reality. In seasons where you may not feel good enough, remember that you can change your entire perspective by noticing all the things you already have. A daily or even monthly gratitude practice can be life changing. If you can relate, leave a comment on this post.
I also tried to focus on the good aspects of the experience. I leaned on how comforting it was that I was going through it with 11 other people. I went into it knowing no one, but came out of it with new friends. I enjoyed putting on outfits that weren’t workout clothes every day. I was glad the courthouse downtown is brand new and has floor to ceiling windows in the entire building. I was grateful I could afford parking downtown to drive myself every day, and listen to music (and cry) on my commute. Plus, now I have a brand new outlook on what matters in this life, once again.
Final thoughts: we can do hard things.
My family asked why I didn’t try to get excused. Unfortunately I didn’t feel like saying I was an empath/Highly Sensitive Person would do the trick. Plus, I wanted to do my civic duty. I felt like I needed to face this challenge. Something in me knew that I had to face this really hard thing to grow and continue becoming the best version of myself. It reminded me that on the other side of heartache is a rediscovery of joy and gratitude in the little things, an insanely rewarding gift. I have realized that, oddly, I become kinder when I’m sad? It’s a weird, beautiful transformation that grief and pain offer. This is the magnificence of the human experience.
I always find comfort in remembering stressful seasons are just that —seasons. They won’t last forever. I’ve also learned that anything that breaks us down also serves to build us back up into better, more resilient, more compassionate versions of ourselves. It’s never for nothing.
If you’ve been through a stressful season recently and Mercury in retrograde got you, too – I hope even one of these tips can help you come back home to yourself. If you’d like to connect with me about anything I shared here, feel free to send me an email (jules@julesthompson.com) or reach out on Instagram @jusevson! I hope you know you’re not alone, your emotions are valid, and you deserve to find ways to process them that promote true healing. I’m sending you so much love through this journey!
P.S. This blog post was inspired in part by this podcast episode by Transform: Toolkit to Navigate Bad Days
